Remember when I said next week I’d talk to you about how to be a lush and stay course? Well, here’s the course (<---)................and here (----------------------->) is me the week before last. Like, so far away from Oprah I couldn’t even hear her loud, booming voice that should truly be able to be heard anywhere on earth. I didn’t even post anything because I actually ended up gaining 3 lbs and was a little embarrassed that it was only week 3. However, I am learning through this program, that when you feel like this, or when you feel like you’ve “failed” is when it’s most important to discuss what happened.
In one of my meetings, someone's goal was: Even when I know that I have gained weight or I haven’t had the most healthy week, I will force myself to go to the meeting. When I went to my meeting last week and the scale showed I’d gone up 3 lbs from a weekend at home with family it didn’t surprise me, but the fact that I had still gone to the meeting is also somehow what motivated me to stick to my goal for the following week. I didn’t feel ashamed per say (cuz it was my BIRTHDAY Y’ALL and we all know there’s no such thing as points or calories or a body on your birthday), but it did make me take a look back at the patterns or habits that had lead me to a place where I wasn’t making super healthy choices.
Whenever I’m at home with my family, most of what we do, other than binge watch endless Law & Order: SVU episodes and show each other dog memes, is talk about eating our next meal. Since being with family and watching hella fit Olivia Benson kill it all day every day feels like a relaxing vacation to me, I associate “relaxing” with eating. Realizing that I made that association, the following weekend when I went to “relax” and my mind immediately went to eating, I used a tip from my leader and used a substitution for the ice cream and chips I wanted by eating veggies and zero points foods. After a few carrots and a hard-boiled egg, I realized that I wasn’t really hungry and didn’t actually want to keep eating those things. So, I was forced to do something else to relax.
Clearly these associations and habits are different for everyone, but once you start to see some of yours it makes you feel a little less out of control. Figuring out why and how I’m eating has been one of the most beneficial parts of meetings for me, and I think it ultimately is/should be for everyone? Now, that doesn’t mean it’s not still a struggle every damn day to remind myself that I don’t actually physically NEED funyons, gummy worms and Talenti to watch Christopher Meloni look fine as hell as he can’t figure out his work life balance.
So this week, I might’ve been up 3 lbs, but REALLY I gained 3 lbs of knowledge. See what I did there? Whatever, I’m going to meet Oprah and you aren’t so I get to say all the really bad jokes I want.
NOW, frealz stay tuned for next time when I tell you how to be a freakin’ lush and be a skinny ass b*tch too. JK, skinny is a MAN made concept don’t get it twisted, but you CAN be fit like Olivia Benson. Dun dun.